What a fantastic discussion we had last night for our family prayer and scripture time. We are following the “Come Follow Me” program put out by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, it’s a family bible study of the New Testament.https://spiritualcrusade.com/2018/12/come-follow-me-we-are-responsible-for-our-own-learning.html

Today’s family discussion was about FORGIVENESS

Mathew 6: 14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

We started off with this scripture reference because it’s powerful, and important to understand how crucial it is for us to develop the gift of forgiveness. We have to forgive to receive forgiveness! I know for myself, I am counting on forgiveness…therefore I can’t possibly consider not forgiving others. I have noticed throughout my life and in mothering seven children, that forgiveness comes easier to some. However, we have been told that we can pray specifically for certain spiritual gifts. Forgiveness would be one that would be worth hitting our knees for. 

You have special spiritual gifts and propensities. Tonight I urge you, with all the hope of my heart, to pray to understand your spiritual gifts–to cultivate, use, and expand them, even more than you ever have. You will change the world as you do so. -Russell M. Nelson

Mathew 18:21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Quickly the math was calculated and the question asked, “what happens if you have to forgive 491 times?” The conclusion was…

• At that point you will be so good at forgiving you won’t have to worry…it will come natural
• Worry about that when you get there.
• Why not one more time…or one more after that?

We acted out the parable in Mathew 18: 23-35

The visual was good for the kids to watch the same person who was forgiven of all his debt, then turn right around and it NOT forgive the one who had a heavy debt with him. 

This stirred a conversation about how easy it is to expect Jesus to forgive us…and yet it’s easy for us to turn around and refuse to let the smallest infractions go. 

34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

Luke 23:33 And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left.

There is not better example. While still hanging on the cross, he forgave those who nailed his hands and feet with a hammer and a long metal pegs into the wooden cross and then raised it in the air for all to see, as he suffered agonizing pain. He forgave those who in response to his pain stuck a spear in his side. He forgave those who gave him vinegar to quench his unbearable thirst. He forgave those who mocked His glory by putting a crown of thorns upon and into his head. He forgave the mobs who encouraged and cheered as he was flogged with leather whips embedded with metal, leaving large open gashing wounds. He forgave them all because he had compassion of their weaknesses. He knew they didn’t know Him for who he truly was. He understood the binding power of the adversary to destroy Him and diminish God’s plan. Little does Satan know…that he cant squash the plan…he helped it live its self out fully. For the Lord knew that this exceptional example of forgiveness would be one we would need here in mortality. For he knew that Satan would try and harden our hearts against one another and we would slowly destroy ourselves…unless we could forgive…7×70 times for each offense. 

How can we be more forgiving?

(This was a great discussion)

We talked about how forgiveness starts before the actual moment of forgiveness is needed. 

There would be a lot less issues if there was more understanding of what others deal with or what they may be going through. If we could give others the benefit of the doubt. 

My husband travels often for work and this last month he was in Arkansas. He was at a stop light, talking to one of his drivers on the phone, when the guy behind him got out of his car, stormed up to my husband’s window and started yelling at him for being on his phone. Mark said he was a large guy…which is saying something because Mark is know as a “large guy.” He was absolutely fuming and trying to get Mark to get out of the car. Mark said he looked at him, and for a moment he realized that he has no idea why this guy is so upset about him talking on his phone. Maybe he lost a loved one to an accident caused by the phone?? Who knows? All Mark knew was that he had no idea what this man had been through or what triggered him. So he rolled down his window, turned off his phone, and kindly told the guy..”your right!” Instantly the “large” man calmed down and walked back to his car. 

There’s a situation you hear about on the news, yet it looks a lot different. The man approaches another man on the highway about being on his phone. The other man gets out of his car upset because it’s none of this guys business. They exchange a few unkind words, a gun is pulled out…threats are made. The other man’s ego is to big to back down, and he is shot. 

Now there is need for forgiveness. 

There are situations like this everyday …that can be avoided if we practice patience with others. Especially in our marriages and parenting.

Mend a quarrel. Seek out a forgotten friend. Dismiss suspicion and replace it with trust. … Give a soft answer. Encourage youth. Manifest your loyalty in word and deed. Keep a promise. Forgo a grudge. Forgive an enemy. Apologize. Try to understand. Examine your demands on others. Think first of someone else. Be kind. Be gentle. Laugh a little more. Express your gratitude. Welcome a stranger. Gladden the heart of a child. … Speak your love and then speak it again. -Howard W. Hunter

One of my children brought up the fact that often we have some blame in the situation as well and it’s easier to blame others than to take the blame. It is always easier to see the wrong in others, than in ourselves. How often have you been in a class or talk and heard someone challenge the audience to look within and improve in a certain area…how many of us immediately think of what others could work on? It’s human nature to to throw the stone. If we can recognize our part in the situation we can fix that, and hopefully avoid some of the pain. 

John 8:7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

Another daughter brought up often we are quick to take offense…when offense wasn’t intended….resulting in hurt feelings. So we discussed not being so defensive and to be patient in understanding different situations. 

Heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation. -David A. Bednar 2006

Lastly, we discussed how important it is to be able to forgive yourself. Once you learn to forgive yourself, it will be easier to forgive others.

As you pray for forgiveness, you will find yourself forgiving others. As you thank God for His kindness, you will think of others, by name, who need your kindness. Again, that experience will surprise you every day, and over time it will change you. – Henry B. Eyring

Forgiveness is the very reason God sent His Son, so let us rejoice in His offering to heal us all. The Savior’s Atonement is not just for those who need to repent; it is also for those who need to forgive. If you are having trouble forgiving another person or even yourself, ask God to help you. Forgiveness is a glorious, healing principle. We do not need to be a victim twice. We can forgive. -Elder Kevin R. Duncan (2016)

Here is the slide show that follows the program exactly so that you can do it with your family. https://spiritualcrusade.com/2018/12/come-follow-me-we-are-responsible-for-our-own-learning.html

Here is another commentary that I wrote on Seek and you shall find. https://spiritualcrusade.com/2018/12/seek-and-you-shall-find-come-follow-me-week-1.html

Here is the commentary about the 10 virgins: https://spiritualcrusade.com/2019/01/the-parable-of-the-ten-virgins-come-follow-me-we-are-responsible-for-our-own-learning-2.html

-Sherri Jorgensen