My brother-in-law sent this quote to me a while ago and I just never felt good about finishing the picture quote and posting it until now. During that time, some things transpired that has caused me to look at this quote differently and it really has taken on new meaning.
A week and a half ago my brother, Don, was diagnosed with a primary brain cancer (GBM). He was told by the Oncologist, that without Chemo/Radiation, he would only have 2-3 months, but with Chemo/Radiation, he might have a year.
What a blow to my brother and the family. I was at work when I found out the news and spent some time in the halls crying. I finally asked my wife to come get me from work. The rest of that week was spent with phone calls to family members and long nights talking with my wife about the situation and how to help.
Then comes a text to the family from Don, that shows his faith. This letter shows how he has changed the world and is changing the world. It is so inspiring. This was after he had the brain tumor removed, but before they had found out the verdict on if it was cancerous or not.
My Dear sweet parents and siblings and children,
How much I have appreciated everyone’s prayers and support. Many are wanting to know how things are going. We still don’t have the results from pathology, so there are many unanswered questions. And the doctors say with their mouths that this could even be something like just an infection that has been cleared permanently with the surgery. But the way they actually talk and their demeanor indicate to me that this is really not a very likely outcome. Some of the more sobering scenarios are the ones they seem to lean into. Although we are hoping for results that send me home to the family I love and the life I love, I feel that it’s important for all to know… PLEASE know… that if these “scarier” scenarios should turn out to be the reality we face, they are not really as scary or dreadful as they are radical and demanding…demanding the best we have to offer and calling for us to awake and arise to other exciting realities that we have been missing, seeing only dimly. Maybe between the two times that King Benjamin was told by the angel to “awake”…maybe in the interim, he was told that it would not be long until he was called home. If so, I can relate to how how much easier it was too really respond to the second call to “awake!” This experience with this tumor has this far, for me, been nothing short of a beautiful disaster. A disaster only because it messes with all my carefully-laid plans for life, and also because I feel suddenly desperate, as I realize that all my cherished people (especially my children), might not know how MUCH(!!!!) they mean to me if I don’t get on the ball and let them know! But far overshadowing the disastery-stuff, this experience has been beautiful, majestic and triumphant in every other way! (“Triumphant” because of the power of Christ that turns darkness to light and pain to peace and disasters into beautiful masterpieces of learning and joy). I’m not just trying to “be strong,” I feel this profoundly. The way my heart yearns, and burns, and aches for the people I dearly love is like a a revelation of heaven to me. It is as if I have been drawn into the bosom of God and allowed to be a witness to the sacred depth and eternal breadth of His tenderness and everlasting love for His children. I could not have come here, to this place of sacred knowing in any other way. (A simple concussion or stubbed toe would not have done gotten the job done.) I’ve come to see the veil as something of a comforting blanket that the Lord lays across our shoulders as we cry our rivers of tears, in our moments of doubt or pain, and then, if we sit quietly and listen and we allow ourselves to feel, then the pulse and warmth of His heartbeat radiate through the blankety-veil and warm us to the core of it, being like an eternal fire that we belong to and have forever belonged to and intimately known, but for a mortal moment we have forgotten. If I could just somehow “tell” my little ones (my inexpressibly prescious children) about how I feel and what I have experienced… If I could bring them close to this intensely-comforting fire-of-love, so that their own hearts could know and drink deeply of this love Heavenly Father has for them, they would never, ever again wonder about their worth or their value! And “feeling accepted” wouldn’t even be a thing, because they would be wrapped, swaddled warmed and tucked in, by my love, and by Heavenly Father’s infinitely-greater-and-more-unconditional love, every day of their mortal lives!! But perhaps, if they realized this too fully, maybe life wouldn’t be a test for them, because they would never again be tempted to leave sacred ground, to experiment with unkindness or to cave to the pull of fear, or to give place for the petty impulses of the natural man.
If I could stay with my children, and not have to worry about leaving the party early, I would do a thousand burpees everyday and never eat cheesecake again, and hopefully staying is a workable option in God’s plan. (And I really do trust His plan whatever it is.) But sometimes I feel like there’s no way the Lord will let me stay, I might love people to much and let out the secret that God is very near and poised like a roaring lion in our corner of this mortal battle, shaking all eternity with His soul-renending roars, pleading with us to hear Him and to trust Him, and although undetected by us, continually chasing away all harm and every threat that isn’t absolutely and exquisitely necessary for us to face at any given moment in our lives, (since these experiences are necessary to bring us to where He is, ETERNALLY SAFE in the arms of his soon-to-be revealed, impenetrable and unquenchable love.
No one could possibly know how cleansing and mighty this experience has been for me. I’m unspeakably grateful for it. Whatever, the outcome, I would not change it! Certainly in every moment of every day, of all of God’s childrens’ lives, and I add my witness that it has been so in the recent events of my life, GOD IS IN THE DETAILS, AND GOODNESS AND LOVE ARE IN THE DETAILS, BEYOND OUR WILDEST IMAGININGS.
I know there are so many prayers being given on my behalf right now. I wish I could ask that all the children could pray something like, “Heavenly Father, Uncle Don is going through brain surgery but that is really no excuse to be giving him gobs and gobs of amazing experiences. He has given us permission to ask that some of those little peeks into heaven be sent our way. Besides the more he gets, the more he crys, and that is kinda embarrassing for him. Please Heavenly Father help him to know how to speak through his tears so he can tell all of us the feelings of his heart, and how happy he is, and so that he can tell us how amazing we are, how beautiful, and how important, and how much he loves us. And if the speaking-through-tears fails (because it usually does), it’s ok because when we hear his goofy laugh, somehow we know.”
Wow, I love this guy! Now comes into play the last part of the quote, “accomplishing the impossible.” He has a long but short road ahead of him. We need to pull together all of our faith and prayers to add to his fire of faith and we WILL see the impossible become possible.
In addition to your faith, we need your support. His wife and 7 kids at home depend solely on him as the sole provider in the home, and he can no longer work. Some of the treatments that have had good success rates are not covered through insurance. He doesn’t have much time to try to fight this aggressive cancer. Please consider donating and helping him fight this in every way possible! Every dollar helps!
Like Don, we all are fighting our own battles right now and they differ in severity, but regardless, let’s remember that the Lord wants us to change the world. Through His power we will see miracles happen everyday, and ultimately accomplish the impossible!
Lead background image by: Heather West https://flic.kr/p/25hwdHf
Craig
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