Hey everyone! I’m happy to return to do some Spiritual How-To blogging after taking a summer sabbatical with my family. I hope you and yours are doing well and that you are thriving in life! Today I’m going to focus on how to have a broken heart and contrite spirit. And before you say no thanks and click away, let’s talk a little about why.
Scriptures tell us to have a broken heart and contrite spirit. “And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit.” That’s 3 Nephi 9:20. In theory, the command to offer a broken heart and contrite spirit should be reason enough. But if you’re anything like me, you might want a little more insight into why having a broken heart and contrite spirit matters. And what does that mean anyways?
Broken Hearts are Part of Mortal Life
Unfortunately, we will all have broken hearts in this life. We don’t have any choice about that part of the equation. It’s simply part of this mortal condition. No one escapes the broken heart. Health problems. Emotional struggles. Loss. Betrayal. Being at war with ourselves. Economic hardships. Hunger. Problems we’ve brought on our own heads. Damage inflicted by others. The sources for heartbreak are only as limited as our imaginations. Honestly, sometimes we can’t even imagine the situations that arise and break our hearts. This is part of life.
The question is, what do we do now?
When we are the source of our own heartaches, we can repent, turn to God, and ask for His strength, courage, and grace. We can be supported and find our way back to peace. But even then, our hearts may be broken by longterm consequences.
Sometimes, we may feel we have done all we could. Maybe we’ve done everything possible to change our lives and to submit to God. Or maybe we didn’t even cause our own trials. Like Job, we’ve sacrificed and served the Lord. But instead of the expected blessings, we’re experiencing grief, hardship, and trial.
Sometimes life just isn’t fair. But God can and will sustain us. The Lord has promised he will “ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs” (Mosiah 24:14).
However, as Elder David A. Bednar explains, “Many of us may assume this scripture is suggesting that a burden suddenly and permanently will be taken away. The next verse, however, describes how the burden was eased.
“And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord” (Mosiah 24:15; emphasis added).
The challenges and difficulties were not immediately removed from the people. But Alma and his followers were strengthened, and their increased capacity made the burdens lighter.”
One More Sacrifice
When our hearts are broken and we feel we have given all, there is one more sacrifice we can offer – our broken heart and contrite spirit. When our hearts are broken, we have two choices – turn to God or turn away. Do we simmer in bitterness? Or do we focus on gratitude? Do we only see our pains or do we notice the hand of the Lord?
In 2 Ne 4:32, Nephi cries out, “May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!”
But how does a broken heart and contrite spirit shut the gates of hell?
Perhaps you’re familiar with the story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. They refused to bow to King Nebuchadnezzar’s golden image, knowing that he had decreed death to all who refused to obey. Now, keep in mind, these three men were essentially enslaved when Babylon defeated Jerusalem. As children, they were taken from their families, brought to a foreign court, expected to eat foods forbidden by their faith, and trained in the ways of a foreign people. Of course their heart were broken and their spirits burdened by this experience. Now they were being asked to break the first commandment and to worship a golden image.
At this point in their trials and tribulations, their brokenheartedness, they could have said, “You know what, I’ve had enough.” They could have been bitter, resentful of the fact that they’d lost their families and the futures they must have imagined for themselves when they were younger. Instead, these men make one last offering to God, the only thing they have left to give – a contrite spirit, a spirit of faith and submission to God’s commands and God’s will for them.
“If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up.”
But if not– this is the true sacrifice, when you’ve already sacrificed everything and you still suffer and you feel like God is not keeping His promises. There is one more thing to sacrifice and it’s the hardest of all – your broken heart and contrite spirit.
I know the Lord can save us, I know the Lord can solve this. But if not, I will still serve the Lord.
Instead of anger and bitterness, we can offer humility and faith. Think of how this changes us. Think of how this shuts the gates of hell. We no longer carry the burden of anger, bitterness or despair. Instead, our burdens are lightened as we experience courage, hope, and determination through our faith and through the grace of God.
Blessed Relief
The blessings that come from offering a broken heart and contrite spirit cannot be overstated.
2 Ne. 2:7 explains “Behold, he (Christ) offereth himself a sacrifice for sin, to answer the ends of the law, unto all those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit; and unto none else can the ends of the law be answered.”
Later in the same chapter we learn, “Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself” (2 Nephi 2:27).
This is part of it. When we come to God with our broken hearts, with our spirits contrite and willing, we are redeemed. We are choosing freedom and eternal life. When we treasure up our hurts and angers, we are choosing captivity, misery, and spiritual death. We’ve all done that before. We know which we are doing by how it makes us feel. Either way we ALL experience the broken heart. But do we continue in faith and offer the broken heart to the Lord and experience some relief or do we cling to our pain and anger and suffer?
In 2 Nephi 4, Nephi is suffering. His father has died, his brothers have turned against him again. He is experiencing grief and possibly depression. He is angry at himself for feeling these things, especially considering the comfort, visions, and angelic visitations God has given him.
“O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions? And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul?”
Nevertheless, like Job, like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, Nephi offers his broken heart and contrite spirit to the Lord.
His final response to this cry of heartache and despair is a pattern we can also choose to embrace, an offering we can also choose to make: “O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever…I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen.”
And when we just feel like we don’t have it in us to make such a profound, faith-filled offering, we, like the sorrowing father, desperate for a miracle for his son, can say to the Savior. “Lord, I believe: help thou my unbelief” (Mark 9:20-24).
Practical Steps You CAN Take
- Recognize that a broken heart is not something you can take a pass on. Trials and heartbreak are part of this mortal life.
- Recognize that you can offer your broken heart to the Lord, rather than marinating in a stew of heartache, anger, bitterness, or resentment.
- Seek God’s help as you try to be humble, faithful, and willing to yield to Him.
- Rely on the courage, strength, and grace of the Atonement of Jesus Christ to find healing for your broken heart.
- Trust that by offering your broken heart and contrite spirit to the Lord, you will be closer to Him, you will find your burdens eased, and the gates of Hell will be shut against you.
- Nurture your faith by these simple steps: Choose to believe. Act on your faith. Ask the Lord to help your unbelief.
Thought to consider: How has continuing in faith during a trial brought you peace and eased your burdens?
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