As a child, the answer to this question seems easy. Life and life choices are largely black and white. But as we age and our lives grow more complex, distinguishing between right and wrong can feel a lot more complicated. Especially when there are two competing rights. Or two competing, though essential, wrongs.
Is it right to steal? Of course not. Is it right to steal bread to feed your starving family? Well, that’s a different question, entirely, just ask Jean Valjean.
Is it right to kill? Of course not. Is it right to kill to defend your family? Your country?
Once life adds qualifiers, recognizing the right path requires more than a simple understanding of spiritual or moral laws. It requires more than legalities as well – legal does not necessarily equate to right or good.
So how do we know?
Part of the Purpose of Life is to Learn Search our Souls
We are here on this earth for many reasons. To learn, to grow, and to (hopefully!) become more like God. We’re here to gain a body and learn to manage the healthy and unhealthy desires of the flesh.
The beauty of the ten commandments is in their inherent simplicity – truth without qualifiers. But life is not always so simple. Of course, God knew this when he gave the commandments to Moses.
Part of fulfilling our purpose on earth is to learn to search our souls, enter into a wrestle with God, and importune Him for truth. Not only is this part of developing a relationship with divinity, but it’s part of learning to sift through all the qualifiers life throws at us and recognize truth.
This is an exercise of study, faith, and action.
In a blog post, Donna Jones describes 4 Lessons Learned from Wrestling with God: One, we wrestle alone. This is between you and God. Two, wrestling can take awhile. There are no easy answers. Three, the secret to wrestling with God is Don’t Let Go! In other words, don’t give up. When we face a wrestle with God, we have a choice – persist and be changed by Him or turn away and, in so doing, shrink, grow small, and bitter. The final lesson is that wrestling with God changes us.
Sorting Through Moral Quandries
Often, when confronted with a moral or ethical issue, we may have competing values in our minds and hearts. Is it better to comfort your ailing child or is it time for a little tough love? Is it better to spend time serving others when your family is struggling? Or is it better to focus on your family and leave others to muddle through on their own?
Obviously, there are not simple answers here and each situation is different. But there is still truth to be found, if we are willing and persistent seekers.
We may find some clues when we examine our motives and desires. For example, if we take a given action, or focus on a given thought pattern, does it lead us to more good? Moroni explores this idea in Moroni chapter 7.
“But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do agood continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and benticeth to do cgood, and to love God, and to serve him, is dinspired of God” Moroni 7:13.
The Light Wolf and the Dark Wolf
An extension of this idea can be found in one of my favorite stories, often referred to as the Light and Dark Wolf. There are countless retellings of this Native American Story online. The essence of the story is this – There are two wolves within us. The dark wolf represents pain, anger, fear, jealousy and pride. The light wolf represents love, peace, humility, and forgiveness.
When a Native Grandmother explains this to the youths surrounding her, one asks, “Which wolf wins?”
Her response? “Whichever you choose to feed.”
You may be wondering how this applies to our discussion today. Isn’t it clear which wolf we’re feeding? Sometimes we deceive ourselves. For instance, in an effort to protect our marriage, we may sometimes act controlling or struggle with feelings of jealousy. At first glance, we may believe we are feeding the light wolf. After all, protecting your marriage is a good thing.
This is where the principles taught in Moroni 7 really can clarify things for us. Are our thoughts and habits leading us, enticing us, to do more good? If so, that’s a pretty clear answer. If not, we need to reevaluate our approach.
Dale LeCheminant speaks to these issues in the May 1979 issue of the New Era. His message is still relevant today.“Whatever expands man’s eternal capabilities is surely the right for him. Whatever detracts from, discourages, or blocks eternal growth is wrong. Christ spoke of his mission as helping men to live fully: “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10. Italics added).”
Recognizing Revelation
When we undergo the soul-expanding wrestle to find truth, it is not an easy road. Elder Richard G. Scott explains, “It is a mistake to assume that every prayer we offer will be answered immediately. Some prayers require considerable effort on our part.”
“We are here on earth to gain experience we can obtain in no other way. We are given the opportunity to grow, to develop, and to gain spiritual maturity. To do that, we must learn to apply truth.”
In his article, Agency and Answers: Recognizing Revelation, he describes 3 ways to find answers to prayers. First, look for evidence that God has already answered you. Second, pay attention to your feelings.
“If it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.
“But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought” (D&C 9:8–9; emphasis added).”
Third, act, even when God withholds an answer. Sometimes this happens when God is providing an opportunity for us to grow and wants us to decide for ourselves.
The Light of Christ
The Light of Christ is the most important tool for helping us distinguish between right and wrong. We must live our lives in ways that invite the spirit and that help us recognize the Lord’s promptings. And when we fall short, we must continually turn our hearts to the Lord, repent, and seek closeness with Him. The Lord gives the Light of Christ to each of us, to guide us along our mortal journey. Moroni explains this further in Moroni 7:15-18.
“For behold, my brethren, it is given unto you to ajudge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night.
For behold, the aSpirit of Christ is given to every bman, that he may cknow good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.
But whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do aevil, and believe not in Christ, and deny him, and serve not God, then ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of the devil; for after this manner doth the devil work, for he persuadeth no man to do good, no, not one; neither do his angels; neither do they who subject themselves unto him.
And now, my brethren, seeing that ye know the alight by which ye may judge, which light is the light of Christ, see that ye do not judge wrongfully; for with that same bjudgmentwhich ye judge ye shall also be judged.”
Recognizing the guidance of the spirit takes practice. It also requires careful listening.
President Boyd K. Packer taught: “The voice of the Spirit is described in the scripture as being neither ‘loud’ nor ‘harsh.’ It is ‘not a voice of thunder, neither … voice of a great tumultuous noise.’ But rather, ‘a still voice of perfect mildness, as if it had been a whisper,’ and it can ‘pierce even to the very soul’ and ‘cause [the heart] to burn’ (3 Ne. 11:3; Hel. 5:30; Doctrine and Covenants 85:6–7).”
As we nurture a desire to hear and follow the Light of Christ, we will be more able to recognize the promptings of the spirit that help us discern between right and wrong.
Practical Steps You CAN Take
- Recognize that distinguishing between good and evil can take study, practice, and inspiration. Just accepting that fact can bring some relief when you are facing a moral quandary. There is nothing wrong with you. Life is complex. That is ok.
- Develop a habit of searching your soul. Rather than making snap decisions or insta-judgments, study it out in your mind. Follow the pattern outlined in Doctrine & Covenants 9:7-9: “…astudy it out in your bmind; then you must cask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your dbosom shall eburn within you; therefore, you shall ffeel that it is right. But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a astupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong.”
- Embrace the wrestle with God. Instead of turning away in discouragement or frustration, don’t give up! Be persistent in wrestling through these issues with God. You will find yourself changed as a result – stronger, more clear-sighted, with greater faith.
- When you believe you have an answer, examine your motives and how it makes you feel. Do your judgments or your decisions in this matter lead you to do more good? If so, you’re on the right track.
- Recognize revelation. Be sensitive to the promptings of the spirit. Take note of what the spirit feels like to you. It could be a sense of peace or a warmth in your soul. Practice taking action when the spirit prompts you. As you do so, you will learn to recognize revelation more easily.
- Nurture the Light of Christ. The Light of Christ is given to each of us. But it is up to us whether we make space for it in our hearts. As we strive to live good lives, we become more attuned to to the promptings of the Lord.
Question to consider: What steps could you take this week to strengthen your ability to distinguish between good and evil?
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