A little over 6 weeks ago, I was in the middle of organizing games for some youth while at our Stake Youth Conference. I was in the Stake Young Men’s Presidency, a calling which I loved deeply. There I was, minding my own business, heckling some youth into participating, when the Stake President asked if I had a minute. Since we were in the middle of a free activity for the youth, I had time. We headed to the Stake Offices and he proceeded to extend a call to me as Bishop of my home ward. I was almost immediately overwhelmed, not by the responsibilities, that would come later, but by the love of God. See, I have bumbled and fumbled and come up short many times in my life. I’ve been stubborn and at times, resentful and bitter. Sometimes I’ve struggled to follow even simple instruction when it came to following the Gospel of Jesus Christ; I mean, do I really have to read the scriptures every day? The answer is yes, by the way. This calling was an affirmation to me that despite my many shortcomings, that I’m still on the path the Lord had set out for me so long ago and that despite myself, He still loves me and gently urges me onward.
I asked for time to receive my own confirmation and before I got home from Youth Conference weekend, Satan was working on me double time, reminding me of all my shortcomings, of my weaknesses and how there are others who are likely more qualified than I am to be the Bishop. I’ve prayed a lot since then and had many sleepless nights. I’ve lived with the Spirit and have experienced more tears the two weeks prior to the announcement in Ward Conference than the last decade combined.
See, I’ve struggled. I’ve come to church every Sunday the last several years and sat in the congregation and been frustrated and bitter for long stretches. But I learned something. I learned it when I first started teaching the Valiant Boys class in primary and it continued the next 3 1/2 years while I continued working with many of the same youth year after year. I learned that I was so focused on the shortcomings of others, that I wasn’t focused on the basics of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
What I learned is that there are no shortcuts, cheat codes or gaps in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I’ve learned, as Kim B Clarke has put it, “None of us are perfect. Sometimes we get stuck. We get distracted or discouraged. We Stumble. But if we look to Jesus Christ with a repentant heart, He will lift us up.”
I’ve been wired to think this way in many aspects of life. I’d blame it on my upbringing or how I was socialized, but that is not fair to my parents. I honestly think it’s my analytical mind. I’m an avid hockey fan and an electrician by trade. A couple things I’ve learned about watching hockey and learning about hockey history is the successful teams are the ones whose coach enacts a system that successfully attacks or defends against the other team, and the best GM’s were the ones who exploited Gaps in the league to draft players no one else knew was available. I’ve appreciated that methodology throughout my life and as an Electrician and now Planner, I’ve been very good at finding the gaps in the system and trying to enact plans to help run the crews more efficiently. I’ve figured out in school which chapters or modules were weighted heavier on the final test and focused on those chapters. At work, I made phone calls to inquire about possible postings before they went up and positioned myself for those spots. Some would call that ‘due diligence,’ while others ‘cherry picking.’
I’ve always loved troubleshooting a problem because it’s about finding the issue and correcting it. It’s finding that seemingly insignificant wire that is loose and correcting it. Even when the issue couldn’t really be fixed, I would look for loopholes or possible jumpers that could bypass the system and get things back online. As a Planner, I ensure my crew had the necessary tools, material, equipment and support for them to get the job done. I’ve designed the Electrical Shop to give light work orders to night shift and weekend crews, which make them happy and free them up for more important work of keeping the plant running. Many of things that I’ve done have helped the shop run smoothly, but they weren’t necessarily the the best option to do at the time. If another electrician or supervisor saw the jumper or the schedule manipulation, I’m certain these things would never have happened. See they were things that I could do, but not necessarily things I should do.
As I worked in Primary with Young men aged 9-11, I learned while teaching, that this line of thinking; looking for the gaps to achieve what I wanted, doesn’t work in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It might work at church, but if you aren’t doing the right things, it will likely make you miserable when things don’t go your way. But, in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, everything is covered. There are no gaps. Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Parents are aware of me and you right now and always. There is nothing you and I could hide from Them and you know what, They love us anyway. They don’t punish us for falling as we are learning to walk. Their arms are always outstretched, hoping we will learn the right things to do to return to live with Them. There are simply no gaps or shortcuts to heaven. We have to put in the work.
This is what I decided to focus on with my Valiant class, and except for Candy Bars for memorizing the articles of faith, I hope the one thing I taught them was that they didn’t have to be perfect, but they do have to try to be a little better every day. And then I went to work being better myself.
This wasn’t an overnight success story though and it came with many, many, many setbacks, but the final catalyst to needing to quit falling into the same traps was when my beautiful wife confessed to me that she was struggling. A feeling I knew all too well and me struggling was one thing, but my wife was far too important for me to allow her to struggle. We made some changes that allowed us to be better. Not perfect, but better. We were able to attend the temple regularly. We were already praying and reading the scriptures with the kids, but we made it a bigger priority. We still struggle with consistent Come, Follow Me, at least the way we’d like to run it, but we continue to try. We are keenly aware of what we need to do to be better and are working to that end.
That’s the thing about trying to be a little better every day. “We all know where we can do better. There is no need to repeatedly remind each other, but there is a need to love and minister to each other.” (Hans T. Boom)
Let’s try to be better, and allow each other room to try to be better, without being judgmental of the errors of others. Next time you are sitting in Sacrament meeting, look around, is there anyone missing that should be there. If you can spot someone who you believe should be there, touch base with them and let them know you love and miss them. They might just need your support right now. Maybe they feel unloved since no one has attempted to contact them.
We can all do better and be better. We can all avoid looking at what we could do and focus on what we should do and when we do that, we will all succeed. If you are asked to do something difficult, or feel overwhelmed by a calling or responsibility or some other impossible task, I beg you to take time to kneel. Kneel before your Heavenly Father and tell Him how you feel. I promise as you do so, He will help you to feel His love for you and He will bless you, “the Lord blesses those who want to improve.” (Jeffrey R. Holland.)
If you’re still struggling, ask for a Priesthood blessing. After the call was extended to be bishop, the majority of my emotions were felt that first 3-4 days. I would pray, and feel better, but invariably some small reminder of the task would shock me into feeling overwhelmed again. But after I received a Priesthood blessing, I felt of God’s love for me, and that the call was from Him. I also went to the Temple the next few days and that call was confirmed again and again. At that point, I couldn’t wait to get started, but still needed to wait until Ward Conference.
I’m humbled by this calling, and I pray that I can be mindful of my responsibilities and the spiritual well-being of everyone living in and visiting my ward boundaries. I do suffer from being abrasive at times, and I pray that if I offend anyone, they can recognize the difference between me and the church. I’m grateful for the sustaining vote, and I hope each member in my ward would take the time to ask Heavenly Father to receive confirmation for themselves that I have been called of God. This is the Church of Jesus Christ. It’s His church. I pray I can do all things in wisdom in Him, but I’m certain that I will forget and make errors in judgment or comment, and when I do, and I catch them or more likely, they are pointed out to me, you can expect I will be there to apologize and work out the issue, and I hope there will be forgiveness.
I love my spirit brothers and sisters. I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I love Jesus Christ. He is my family. You are my family. Our Heavenly Parents want us all to return to them, and not just the ones in my ward or reading this post. I love the Book of Mormon, the Scriptures and the words of the Latter-day Prophets and Church Leaders. They are inspired men and women, who are also not perfect, but people who are trying to be better each day. I’m grateful for my parents, who have suffered far too much at my hands, and for my brothers and sisters, who suffered just the right amount at my hand. I’m grateful for repentance and the power of prayer and the peace that comes when I am frustrated or angry or anxious and I pray to a loving Heavenly Father and let Him know how I feel.
A couple weeks ago, I was sustained a Bishop in Ward Conference, ordained a High Priest and then set apart as the Presiding Aaronic Priesthood holder in the Ward. There is alot of work ahead, but with direction from the Lord and the proper focus on the right work, I know we can help strengthen the church. I hope we can move the Church forward, that we can all feel of God’s love for us and will all try to be a little better every day. I hope we will support each other and remember the proverb “Thee lift me, and I’ll lift thee and we shall ascend together.” So that one day, we may see each other in the Kingdom of God and be grateful we knew each other.
~ Todd Bruce
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