As I pondered on this topic, someone very dear to me mentioned in a casual discussion we were having, “I am struggling with whether or not God exists.” This individual is strong, faithful, valiant, courageous, and enduring. Suddenly, my thoughts on unbelief changed, and I started to understand “unbelief” better. Don’t we all have unbelief? Don’t we all struggle with blindness, unable or unwilling to see what the Lord wants us to see? Haven’t we all joined the desperate father in the New Testament, “I believe, HELP my unbelief?” I know I have. “I know you can heal Bob, Susie, and Frank, but can you heal my child?” “I know you can move the Browns, Philips, and the Wheelers, but can you move my family?” “I understand these doctrines, but what about this one?” “I believe you are in the details of my friends and families lives, but are you in the details of my life?” “Do you truly hold ME in the palm of your hand?”
Isn’t it so true that it is easier to believe for others, but when it comes to us, doubt settles in? Every time I have hit my knees and turned to the Lord with my desperate cry of unbelief, I always come away with a stronger testimony, firmer foundation, more determined conviction, and feeling loved beyond measure. It doesn’t alway happen immediately, but it happens eventually. He can expand our understanding, increase our knowledge, heal our ailments, direct our lives and wrap his arms around us.
So why? Why do some doubts lead to “dwindling” and others to a strong conviction? I honestly believe it has everything to do with the cry for HELP. Lehi’s family was a perfect example of this. Let’s focus on Nephi, Laman and Lemuel. All three of these brothers left their home, their wealth, their friends, and their comfort to follow their father into the wilderness. All three of these brothers went to Laban to get the plates, all three of these brothers endured the desert for many many years. All three of these brothers crossed the large, expansive, unknown waters to the “land of promise.” So why did Nephi have greater eternal perspective? Why did he trust in the Lord, while Laman and Lemuel continued to go through the motions, getting more and more angry all the time from their belief that their father was a visionary man who took them on a wild adventure, and who was going to leave them in a new land with none of their previous comforts or wealth? The difference was in their personal relationship with God. Nephi poured out his heart with his questions, and concerns. The Lord was able to help Nephi know for himself the purposes of the journey and see the Lord’s hand in the entire plan. Laman and Lemuel refused to pray and so they were left to their own understanding. This is a difficult place to be, because we need the Lord. He will quiet the chaos that the world has to offer, he will give us calmness, peace and understanding.
The Lord doesn’t work on us quickly. He never has. He leads and guides line upon line, here a little there a little. We live in a world of instant gratification–everything is immediately at our fingertips. God deals in constant, lasting, strengthening, building, and eternal. I often think of all the fad diets. The friends I know who have jumped on the bandwagon, and lost lots of weight in a short amount of time. Sadly, they have all gained it back and more because they didn’t really change–it was just a quick fix. Instant doesn’t really work. Instead, we need new habits, new ideas, and new focus that come over time so that we become new people in the Lord. The Lord’s ways are not our ways, and they are certainly not the world’s way, but they are the best ways.
We also need prayer. Prayer is key to allowing our doubts work miracles in our lives.
Alma 34:39 Yea, and I also exhort you, my brethren, that ye be watchful unto prayer continually, that ye may not be led away by the temptations of the devil, that he may not overpower you, that ye may not become his subjects at the last day; for behold, he rewardeth you no good thing.
Along with prayer, we need scriptures. I am in love with the scriptures. Just like it says in Corinthians, the word of God is more than just word, it is power. The scriptures give us power: power to see clearly, power to walk with Christ, power to hear the parables and to understand the mysteries of heaven, power to heal our hearts, change our lives, and mold us into the people we were meant to be. The scripture talk of Christ, preach of Christ, and they pour Christ’s love into our lives. When coupled with prayer, the scriptures will open the heavens for greater personal revelations. This is our communication with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 4:20 For the kingdom of God is not in word, but in power.
So why with all the tools we have to help us with our unbelief, do we not always take advantage of them? Why do we sometimes still choose unbelief rather than choosing prayers of faith and times of trust like Nephi? Why are we like Laman and Lemuel?
The biggest problem is usually time. There has always been an issue with finding “room” for Christ. I often think to myself, “there was no room in the inn” when I feel too busy to study the scriptures. Is there room in your life for Christ to rest his head? I can promise you that If you will make time for scriptures, you will have time for everything else you need to do. It’s amazing how it works. If everything else comes first, there’s no time for scriptures. When the scriptures come first, there is always time for everything else.
If reading the scriptures is difficult for you, because you suffer from unbelief, and you just can’t believe that they are the answer, just open them and run your fingers through the pages. Do it every day, until you feel the strength to read them. There is power in the pages.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
A dear friend of mine was taking the missionary lessons and loving it, when her mind became overwhelmed. So she stopped. A few years later she found herself in a deep dark depression, she couldn’t see any light, and she didn’t know what to do. She had been attending a church in her town, so she called the pastor to seek help. He told her to get better soon, and he looked forward to seeing her at church again. She was shocked! “I need help, who do I call now?” she thought.
She had a feeling that she should go to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints meeting. She hadn’t been out of bed in weeks, but she put herself together and went to church. She sat in the back, Judy came in, and sat down by her. Judy is a walking, hearing, seeing follower of Christ, who through her own trials in life, has been able to help masses of people find Christ through their trials. She is an extension of the Savior’s hand. My friend happened to mention to Judy, her struggle with depression, and the darkness that was in her life. Judy, or should we call her Mary Poppins, pulled out the Ensign and opened to an article. She gave it to my friend and told her to go home and read it. It changed my friend’s life forever.
There article offered three, simple suggestions for everyday living: pray, read the scriptures, and do an act of service every day. She said, in the beginning, all she could do was close her eyes and pray while lying in her bed. As for the scriptures, she read one verse. And for service, she decided to do one thing a day for her family. Sometimes she would get up and make dinner, clean a bathroom, or make a treat. Slowly, very slowly, her darkness turned to light, her depression turned to joy, and she could once again feel the love of her Savior. She called the missionaries, took the lessons and joined the church. She is the most wonderful, strong, member I know. She joined the church running– changing lives, teaching love, and sharing joy. Today she will tell you to do exactly what she did: read every day, pray every day and do an act of service every day! It will make all the difference, and it has for her, and for all the others that have decided to take her simple advice. It’s all about finding Christ in your life, right where you are, it’s absolutely the most perfect spot to start.
Joshua 1:9 Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.
Doubts, concerns, worries, questions, and darkness are all opportunities to grow. As we turn to the Lord, he will turn the light on in our lives and fill our pleading hearts with understanding and wisdom. Our concerns will be soothed, our hearts will be calmed with peace, and our doubts will be clarified by greater light. Christ loves us, he has done everything in his power to bring us home, all we have to do is trust him, follow him, and BELIEVE in FAITH.
Mormon 9:27 O then despise not, and wonder not, but hearken unto the words of the Lord, and ask the Father in the name of Jesus for what things soever ye shall stand in need. Doubt not, but be believing, and begin as in times of old, and come unto the Lord with all your heart, and work out your own salvation with fear and trembling before him. 28 Be wise in the days of your probation; strip yourselves of all uncleanness; ask not, that ye may consume it on your lusts, but ask with a firmness unshaken, that ye will yield to no temptation, but that ye will serve the true and living God.
-Sherri Jorgensen
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