“Your friends may influence your decisions even more than your parents will.” -Robert Cheeke
Those with whom we associate do have an influence on us, no matter how strong of a person we believe we are. In fact, they have an influence on us no matter how strong we actually are. If we associate with friends who are participating in activities that do not align with our standards, we will slowly weaken until our hearts are penetrated. It’s hard to see the gradual effects that our activities and friends have on us, but looking back we often wonder, “What happened?”
A group of fun loving, adventurous college age boys got their hands on a bullet proof vest. For a fun day activity they went to the desert, far away from any civilization, and decided to test this vest. They unloaded an uncountable amount of bullets on this vest. Every bullet repelled off, without penetrating the vest. One of the boys, decided to put the vest on, and have his friends shoot him, since they had fully tested the vest. They couldn’t test the vest any further at that time, because they had used all their bullets. They headed back to town to buy more bullets. The store didn’t have the exact bullets they needed, but they had some that were similar, and fit the guns. The boys purchased the slightly different bullets, and headed back to the desert to blast this vest some more. Once safe away from any danger of accidentally shooting someone, they started to have some more fun. This same boy, grabbed the vest, and begged his friends to shoot him. At first they refused, but after repeated pleading one of them shot the vest, just like they had hundreds of previous times. This time the bullet penetrated the vest, and hit the heart of the friend who was wearing the vest. The boys were in a panic, “what happened?” They had tested the vest hundreds of times. The boys quickly put the injured boy in the car and drove as fast as they could to the hospital. It was too late, the boy died, and the friend who gave in to the begging, was put in custody for manslaughter. This is a tragic story of two lives loss over a one moment decision.
As I thought about this story, I couldn’t help but think about the youth and their friends. The pressures of high-school are intense. Everything is so accessible and accepted. I watch as they go into situation over situation with their faith-filled, Christ-centered convictions, and then just slowly and undetected, their resolve weakens. Like the vest, they are able to resist for a time, but eventually, their hearts are penetrated, and slowly the world seeps in as their once strongly held convictions and standards leak out.
“Often, becoming prey to sin starts with someone choosing friends whose standards are not consistent with the gospel; and in order to be popular or to be accepted by peers, the person then compromises gospel principles and laws, going down a path that will bring only pain and sadness to this person and to his or her loved ones.” -Jairo Mazzagardi
This happens with adults as well. I have watched as testimonies are lost by association with someone who has a negative outlook, and then slowly they penetrate the faith of others.
This is easily demonstrated for children, (and adults) by using two colors of play-dough. If you take yellow and blue play dough and you gently mix it, for awhile you can still separate it, but there will be yellow on the green and green on the yellow. It is near impossible to remove all of the opposite color. Then if you mix it fully, it turns blue. There is no longer a yellow and a green. This is how our friendships work, at first we just rub off a little on each other. Over time, we blend completely into a whole new direction. This can work for good and bad. Good friends will rub off in a positive manner, as not as good friends will leave negativity with us.
“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”-Jim Rohn
It’s important to teach our children the difference between loving everyone and being kind to them, versus becoming friends who hang out with them all the time. As we strive to keep the light of the Lord in our lives, we will want to shine that light for others who are struggling. However, we must only participate and attend activities that allow the Holy Ghost to remain with us. That is our source of light, warning, and comfort. If we choose to be in a place where the Holy Ghost can’t dwell, we don’t have access to his guidance. Once we become familiar with these activities, they are easier and easier to be a part of. Slowly they become part of our lives, and we see the play dough mix.
“If you want to identify someone’s character, examine the friends he sits with” -Imam Ali
Like the vest, we eventually will weaken. The adversary is aware of our strengths and weaknesses. He is working hard to penetrate our spirits. During the investigation of the vest incident, it was apparent that the boys had successfully tested the vest before putting it on a person. The investigators weren’t sure what happened that allowed the bullet to penetrate. The vest’s strength could have been weakened from the hundreds of bullets that had been shot at it, or the new bullet could have been different enough that it penetrated the vests strong-hold. Is this not exactly how Satan works? He will either weaken us to the point that we give in, or he will change his tactics until something hits a weak cord in us, and we give in. The only sure way to not be penetrated is to not be in situations where we are weakened over time, or where we will be exposed to something that we give in to the peer pressure or curiosity.
“If the only way for you to fit in with your friends is by doing bad things, you need some new friends.”
We can avoid these dangerous situations by living our life in the presence of the Holy Ghost, who will guide and direct us as well as protect us from danger. In life there are many times that we will get the opportunity to feel the difference of environments, so that we can understand how important it is to stay near the tree of life, which is the Savior. He will walk beside us every step of the way, if we choose to walk by him. It’s our choice. We can stay in the light, or step into darkness where we are on our own. The friends we choose to associate with will make all the difference in the direction that we choose to go in life.
The second part of this is that we also are influential to those we hang out with. What we do and say will affect those around us. This is especially important when you think that those you hang with are most likely your friends–usually the people you love the most. Why not be a positive influence in their lives? Why not be the light to their day, the joy to their life, and lift them by helping them be the best the can? That should be an ultimate goal in each of our lives: to lift others, especially those we love so dearly, including our family and friends. As we make good choices we will bring others with us. Those who choose to go a different direction, for a time, will remember you and your influence, especially when they need it most. My husband has a friend who calls him all the time when he is doing the right things, and then stops calling when his choices are not as good. I find it super complimentary to my husband! His friend recognizes the good friend my husband is to him, and when he wants to get back on track, this man knows to call my husband. Let’s be the kind of friend that our friends depend on to make good choices and carry them to a higher plane.
“Every day you are leading by example. Whether you realize it or not, or whether it is positive or negative, you are influencing those around you.” -Bonnie Cochrane
-Sherri Jorgensen
Recent Comments