Psalms 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Sometimes in life we experience difficulties–wounds that may be emotional, but feel physical. Through our own perseverance, and the Lord’s tender mercies we somehow make it through. I, too, have experienced my share of mortality, both the good and the difficult. However, there is nothing that can prepare one for the loss of their own child. No one thinks it is going to happen to them. It happened to my family. The Spring of 2013, we lost our sweet 4-year-old. This is a trial that I was not able to bear…. alone. There is no possible way to put into words the agony, loneliness, despair, panic, pain, yearning, desperation, and heaviness that accompanies such a trial. I can, however, try to explain the love of my Heavenly Father. It’s going to sound strange the way he kept me moving, living, and surviving for the first couple of years, until I could handle life on my own. For the first couple of years, our household was in constant motion. My oldest son, fell asleep at the wheel, flipping his vehicle into a ravine, which was a miracle he survived. My second to youngest son ran into our fridge and split his head open, requiring multi stitches. My daughter was in and out of the ER with Rocky Mountain Fever from a tick bite. On one occasion, two of my kids were in casts at the same time, from broken bones, in two different accidents. Then on another occasion my youngest broke his arm as well, and I broke my foot. My husband had an emergency surgery to have his appendix removed, and I had knee surgery. During this time, strep throat went through our family over and over and over again. There was more, but I think you get the picture. It was nonstop! It was exhausting, to say the least, but it kept me going. I couldn’t sleep away my sorrows, instead I tended daily to my endless family needs. Then we got the stomach flu, it was the worst case we had ever seen. Every twenty minutes we were all (my kids, husband and I) going at both ends. In between my own throwing up and other not-so-fun conditions of the flu, I was cleaning up everyone else’s mess. Not to mention, our dog, Tippy, was sick as well. She was throwing up, and fading fast, we feared she would not make it through the night. I called my brother, who breeds dogs, and he confirmed that she probably would not make it. I knew that my Heavenly Father was keeping me busy through caring for my children, most likely because that was the only way to keep me moving and going forward. However, this was too much for me, with the dog about to die, and the family deathly sick, I decided in my mind, that I would keep moving but I couldn’t take it anymore. I was utterly exhausted. I got on my knees and prayed to Heavenly Father. I told him that I couldn’t take this anymore, and that I needed to wake up and have everybody well, including the dog. When we woke up the next morning the dog was fine, as if she had never been sick. My family and I were well too. It was such a testament to me of my Heavenly Father’s devoted love for me. He loved me enough to keep me moving. When I couldn’t do it anymore, then he took it away. I am so very grateful for my Heavenly Father carrying me through the years after the loss of my little boy. I honestly know there is no way that I would be here, at least in the way that I am today, without the love of my Heavenly Father and the Atonement.
“What seem our worse prayers, may really be, in God’s eyes, our best… For these may come from a deeper level than feeling” – C.S. Lewis
- This is a friend’s story that she told me, I chose to write it from her perspective, the same way she shared it with me. She gave me permission to post it, in hopes that others dealing with extreme trials can recognize the Lord’s hand in their life, and feel His love for them. Xoxoxoxoxo
-Sherri Jorgensen
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