I am thankful for the example of Lehi and Sariah in the book of Mormon, as parents that we can emulate. In the very beginning it says Nephi was born of goodly parents, who taught him of the goodness and mysteries of God.
1Nephi 1:1 I Nephi, having been born of goodly parents,therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father; and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days.
That alone is an example of what I want to be. I want to be known as a “goodly parent”, someone who taught the Lord’s way, lived the Lord’s way and loved the Lord’s way. I want to be known as a good parent for someone who loved my children unconditionally, taught them relentlessly to repent and follow the Lord, and walked beside them through all the trials and tribulations. I want to be known as the parent who prays fervently for my children, who reads from the Scriptures daily, and bears my testimony regularly.
As I look at Lehi and Sariah, the things that stand out the strongest to me are that Lehi, with full support and partnership of Sariah led their family with strength, courage, and complete commitment to the Lord. They followed the Lord with exactness! I love the fact that they never faltered, when the Lord asked them to do hard things they acted immediately.
1 Nephi 2:1…Blessed art thou Lehi, because of the things which thou hast done; and because thou hast been faithful and declared unto this people the things which I commanded thee, behold, they seek to take away thy life.
2 And it came to pass that the Lord commanded my father, even in a dream, that he should take his family and depart into the wilderness.
3 And it came to pass that he was obedient unto the word of the Lord, wherefore he did as the Lord commanded him.
4 And it came to pass that he departed into the wilderness. And he left his house, and the land of his inheritance, and his gold, and his silver, and his precious things, and took nothing with him, save it were his family, and provisions, and tents, and departed into the wilderness.
The Lord asks us all to do hard things, especially when it comes to children, and sometimes it’s hard to follow immediately. However, when we do, our children and homes will be blessed. Our Heavenly Father will not mislead us, he knew us before we came to earth, he knows us now, and all we deal with, and he knows where we need to go and how to get there…for he knows our full potential.
That is why he designed the family unit as the center to His plan, both here on earth and through the eternities, because hard things are better together. The scriptures tell us to be one in marriage…as the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost are one. Lehi and Sariah show us how this is done, even during parenting. I love the simple marriage lesson in Chapter 3, Lehi through pray gets the impression or revelation that his boys need to go get the plates from King Laban. It’s doesn’t state that Sariah was involved in this decision, but we know that the scriptures would let us know if she was against it. I can feel her support, I’m sure Lehi approaches her first and they discussed their worries, concluding that if this was what the Lord needed them to do, then they should do it. They sent their boys, without phone or email, there’s no way to hear from them on how they are doing. They didn’t have a car…so travel would be a bit slower. It took 3 attempts before getting the plates, one of those attempts included going back to Jerusalem and gathering their valuable possessions. From that alone we can conclude that it was a rather long time. Especially to a worried mom, who quickly can visualize all kinds of horrible tragedies happening to her boys. The Book of Mormon tells us she complained to her husband.
1 Nephi 5: 2For she had supposed that we had perished in the wilderness; and she also had complained against my father, telling him that he was a visionary man; saying: Behold thou hast led us forth from the land of our inheritance, and my sons are no more, and we perish in the wilderness.
3 And after this manner of language had my mother complained against my father.
I believe this is in The Book of Mormon to show us that Lehi and Sariah were indeed parents like ourselves, and that they experienced emotions that we experience. I don’t believe it’s been recorded to give us justification for our own complaining and bickering. As I read Chapter 5, I’m impressed with the immediate humility both Lehi and Sariah show at this intense moment for the family. The boys arrive, and Sariah is over joyed as is Lehi. She recognizes immediately, that she was wrong in losing a little faith, and questioning her husband. Instead of harboring those frustrations, she lets them go. She once again recognizes the Lord’s hand and that her husband did listen and obey. Lehi also, shows humility in his gentle understanding of how difficult it is to be the wife of a prophet of the Lord, who is called to do difficult things.
1 Nephi 5: 1…he was filled with joy, and also my mother, Sariah, was exceedingly glad, for she truly had mourned because of us.
4….father spake unto her, saying: I know that I am a visionary man;
If we could follow this simple example through our own partnership of parenting and realize that it’s difficult. Not only to ask our children continually to follow the Lord, but to also worry for them as they face difficult, almost impossible situations…and then to do it together. I believe that is key. The adversary wants to separate mom and dad…pull the family apart. As we work together in humility, we will feel the spirit pour direction and protection into our marriages and homes.
Lehi and Sariah included the Lord in every decision. Lehi may have appeared visionary…but really, he was just an awesome communicator with the Lord. I’ve often felt that it would be so much easier to pick up the phone and call Heavenly Father, then I wouldn’t have to guess what He’s trying to tell me. Sariah and Lehi had that kind of communication with the Lord. Sariah was given the assurance that her husband was indeed a man of God who followed with exactness. I too have experienced that assurance…I know that Mark is not a prophet, but he has been given stewardship over our family. He has had to make BIG decisions that affect our children and our lives. But as I have prayerfully approached the Lord, I have had a calming peace during these tough decisions. It has given me the ability to support my husband fully. Which takes the pressure off him, it’s not easy to move your family across the country…or to the “wilderness”. However, when the parents work together and have a good attitude, the children handle the situation better. Once the mom complains, the kids complain. Yes, children have their own free agency. However, I have seen first hand what a blessing it is to the whole family when mom and dad work as partners.
Pray and scripture study is a huge part of parenting. Lehi and Sariah give thanks to the Lord constantly….even after some of the toughest moments.
1 Nephi 2:6 And it came to pass that when he had traveled three days in the wilderness, he pitched his tent in a valley by the side of a river of water.
7 And it came to pass that he built an altar of stones, and made an offering unto the Lord, and gave thanks unto the Lord our God.
“Thank the Lord in ALL things”. I recently wrote a post about my friend, who thanked the Lord for his wife of 54 years, for the precious time he got to spend with her, even though she was unexpectedly taken back to her Heaven home. Through this process he found joy. That is probably one of the greatest trials we are asked to face, the loss of loved ones. To give thanks brings joy. Lehi and Sariah’s situation would be another difficult one, to leave their home and all their friends, possessions, and memories…and live in a tent for years, under nature’s harsh conditions. Yet, what did they do? They gave thanks. Which we are also told brought them joy. They found joy in following the Lord. The world may look at their situation and think how miserable, but they didn’t see it that way. They had peace, and joy.
2 Nephi 2:25 Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.
It’s amazing after all that Sariah and Lehi dealt with and they still found joy. Joy doesn’t come from our circumstances, or from stuff we can buy, places we travel, or the car that we drive. Joy comes from inside, when our souls are reconnected with our Heavenly Father through a unity built through pray, scriptures, and obedience.
Speaking of scriptures. As soon as the plates were delivered to Lehi he studied them. I’m going to take a wild guess and say that Sariah studied them as well. They fell in love with what they learned, and they had a strong testimony of the importance and sacredness of these writings. They knew that they must be preserved for all generations to follow.
1 Nephi 5:9 And it came to pass that they did rejoice exceedingly, and did offer sacrifice and burnt offerings unto the Lord; and they gave thanks unto the God of Israel.
10 And after they had given thanks unto the God of Israel, my father, Lehi, took the records which were engraved upon the plates of brass, and he did search them from the beginning.
1 Nephi 5:18 That these plates of brass should go forth unto all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people who were of his seed.
19 Wherefore, he said that these plates of brass should never perish; neither should they be dimmed any more by time. And he prophesied many things concerning his seed.
They studied their genealogy. (Take note how long ago this was) God is the same yesterday, today, and will be forever. Genealogy, temple work, connecting our families for eternity…was important then and is important now! Understanding who our Heavenly Father is and his relation to us, is life changing as you can feel his divine power affect our lives as we understand that we are indeed his daughters/sons. We all have divine attributes that we inherited from our Heavenly parents. Now we need to connect all the dots …and feel the power that comes from the millions we have who are our family, fighting for us on the other side. Its mind boggling really. Somehow we allow the armies of Satan to bother us…forgetting we too have warriors in heaven helping us every day.
1 Nephi 5:14 And it came to pass that my father, Lehi, also found upon the plates of brass a genealogy of his fathers;wherefore he knew that he was a descendant of Joseph; yea, even that Joseph who was the son of Jacob, who was sold into Egypt, and who was preserved by the hand of the Lord, that he might preserve his father, Jacob, and all his household from perishing with famine.
I’m not going to go into all the parenting side of Laman and Lemuel vs Nephi and Sam… that’s a whole post by itself. However, I just want to say. They parented with love and forgiveness. Lehi and Sariah, took parenting serious…it’s the foundation of the family. Elder M. Russell Ballard, explains “Our family-centered perspective should make Latter-day Saints strive to be the best parents in the world. It should give us enormous respect for our children, who truly are our spiritual siblings, and it should cause us to devote whatever time is necessary to strengthen our families. Indeed, nothing is more critically connected to happiness–both our own and that of our children–than how well we love and support one another within the family”
This is true even if we have children who are more difficult, like Laman and Lemuel, whose hearts were full of rebellion and contention. However, with a constant plea to repent, and with forgiveness and love, Lehi and Sariah were able to continue moving forward and able to help Nephi and Sam learn for themselves what the Lord was doing. As parents we must encourage our children to ask for themselves if the things, we believe are true and if the things we ask of them are true. If they will follow that advise, they too will know.
1 Nephi 2:16 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, being exceedingly young, nevertheless being large in stature, and also having great desires to know of the mysteries of God, wherefore, I did cry unto the Lord; and behold he did visit me, and did soften my heart that I did believe all the words which had been spoken by my father; wherefore, I did not rebel against him like unto my brothers.
17 And it came to pass after I, Nephi, having heard all the words of my father, concerning the things which he saw in a vision, and also the things which he spake by the power of the Holy Ghost, which power he received by faith on the Son of God—and the Son of God was the Messiah who should come—I, Nephi, was desirous also that I might see, and hear, and know of these things, by the power of the Holy Ghost, which is the gift of God unto all those who diligently seek him, as well in times of old as in the time that he should manifest himself unto the children of men.
18 For he is the same yesterday, today, and forever; and the way is prepared for all men from the foundation of the world, if it so be that they repent and come unto him.
19 For he that diligently seeketh shall find; and the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto them, by the power of the Holy Ghost, as well in these times as in times of old, and as well in times of old as in times to come; wherefore, the course of the Lord is one eternal round.
Unfortunately, each person living gets the opportunity to decide to act for themselves. That can be one of the hardest parts of parenting. The inability to force righteousness on our children. However, choice is one of the greatest gifts from Heavenly Father, and it will be a great gift from us to our children as well. As they choose the Lord and build their own testimony, they will be the strongest warriors and leaders for the Lord.
2 Nephi 10:23 Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves–to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life.
As parents it’s our job to gently lead and warn them as well. Praying fervently for their ears and eyes to open and for them to choose obedience. The Lords ways are always the best ways. I’m in love with the fact that they named the river and valley after the boys, with spiritual meaning. After parenting my own teenagers, I recognize what a gentle approach that was to try with every ounce of a parent’s souls to get their boys to wake up and understand the path they are on…to know who they could be if they would but follow the Lord.
1 Nephi 2: 9 And when my father saw that the waters of the river emptied into the fountain of the Red Sea, he spake unto Laman, saying: O that thou mightest be like unto this river, continually running into the fountain of all righteousness!
10 And he also spake unto Lemuel: O that thou mightest be like unto this valley, firm and steadfast, and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord!
Hopefully, the story of Lehi’s family is a chance to remove parent guilt for parents who have children who chose to follow a different path….yearn for the spacious building. We must do our best. These are our children… they need our best. However, we must find peace in our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and their ultimate love for us and our children…and trust them that they will help us help our children. I don’t know how it all works, but we have no choice but to trust that they do know the full picture and the full plan. We must hand our guilt and remorse over to our Savior who has already suffered for us and is willing to carry that burden for us. We should pray daily for all our children that are strong and for those that struggle. President Dieter F. Ucbtdorf said it best in his talk “He Will Place You on His Shoulders and Carry You Home” (April 2016)
“As I pondered the history of Dresden and marveled at the ingenuity and resolve of those who restored what had been so completely destroyed, I felt the sweet influence of the Holy Spirit. Surely, I thought, if man can take the ruins, rubble, and remains of a broken city and rebuild an awe-inspiring structure that rises toward the heavens, how much more capable is our Almighty Father to restore His children who have fallen, struggled, or become lost?”
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