My parents grew up in the wilds of northwestern Ontario. It wasn’t really the wild, but it was in a tiny town that is a 90 minute drive from anywhere. They grew up working hard and spent most of their days outdoors. I grew up in the wilds of southeastern British Columbia. It was not really the wilds, but a tiny tiny town that was 20 minutes from the other tiny towns, 75 minutes from a small city, and a 2-3 hour drive to much bigger cities, depending on the direction you drove. I grew up working hard and playing hard, splitting my time outside playing by the river and train tracks and inside playing Nintendo and Sega Genesis. I learned to work from an early age, getting firewood, cleaning the house to mom’s standard, shoveling the driveway and mowing the lawn. It was not the same as my folks, who legit worked as kids, but I kind of worked, sometimes. I was the baby of the family after all.
When I was 13, my elderly next door neighbour asked if I’d be interested in shoveling his driveway that winter and asked what I would charge. I figured $20 was pretty good. He was happy with that and we struck a deal. I cleared the driveway and he paid me the $20. I figured I hit the jackpot. Having grown up in the mountains, I knew it would snow a lot. Winter usually starts the week before Halloween and will snow off and on until the third week of March. Our average snowfall is somewhere between 100-140 inches per year. I was going to be shoveling 8-12 feet of snow, at $20 a pop all winter. The only problem was that $20 was supposed to last the whole winter. My neighbour wanted to know how much for the entire winter. When I shoveled the next few times, I was anxiously awaiting a payday each time and when I learned there would be no more paydays, I wasn’t happy. But after talking with my parents, I would honour the deal. I wasn’t happy about it, but I would do it. My neighbour got sick that winter and it became even more important that the driveway was clear for his trips to and from the hospital. I was anything but sympathetic. I would like to say I was a champ and handled it well. I’m sure there was alot more complaining than shoveling that winter.
My dad has always been service oriented. I remember multiple times when we were knee deep into a project and the phone would ring. He would make sure I was okay to carry on by myself and he would rush off to go help someone else. We learned to serve from his example, but he also was a shift worker and couldn’t always help. Lucky for him, he had four sons who he could volunteer to help people move, shovel, dig, or help repair a roof. We always went together and the service was usually more social than anything. When we could serve together, we didn’t mind going. When asked, my dad always said he felt he was blessed by helping others. His answer resembled a quote I heard recently. “I’ve always believed that some of God’s tenderest of tender mercies come to those who are willing to sacrifice a little and convenience to keep watch over His flock” (Brad Wilcox) My dad’s response usually was to the effect of, “With all the blessings I’ve received, how can I afford not to serve others.”
One of the benefits growing up in my family was that the boys got to go on some character building canoe trips with my dad, brothers, uncles and cousins. We would disappear into the literal wilds of Quetico Provincial Park in northwestern Ontario. This was wilderness camping at its finest. We would pack everything we would need to survive for two weeks in the bush. Averaging the five canoe trips I went on, I think we paddled and portaged between 120-210 km. (75-125 Miles.) There were some long days of paddling. There were killer portages. There were days when we would question everything we were doing and swearing we would never do another. There were days we caught monster pike or whole schools of walleye. There were sunburns, black flies, mosquitoes, muskeg and, no bathrooms. We swam, relaxed by the fire, read books in the hammock and most of all, worked hard and played hard. Those were some of the best days of my life. But make no mistake while they were happening, there were times I wanted nothing more than a cold beverage or a peanut buster parfait.
The lessons learned on those trips are lessons that I will take with me for the rest of my life and forward to the day when I can bring my sons on a similar trip. I’ve learned on these trips, “for maximum happiness, peace, and contentment, may we choose a positive attitude.” (Thomas S. Monson)
I remember one particular time. It was a long miserable day. It rained. We couldn’t find a camp site. We carried on and on and on. The sun had gone down, we were wet and cold. Worst of all, we had to keep going and going because there was no end in sight. I was done. I was vocal about it. I let everyone know that I was banking my time and cashing in my chips. When we got to camp, I was not setting up the tent, I would not be cooking supper, I had done enough. I announced this several times before my dad snapped. Now, my dad doesn’t yell, he doesn’t bark, he’s not a task-master. Mom is justice, Dad is mercy. I can probably count on one hand the number of times dad was legitimately and visibly mad. This was one of those times. He threw a paddle. It shattered on a rock. He told me that everyone was tired. But the only way we were going to get through this is if we each pulled our own weight. As a 14 year old, I was more upset that he yelled at me and broke a paddle, but I learned a valuable lesson. We work together. We get there together. I’m sure if my canoe decided to leave the rest, we could’ve been at camp sooner, but we traveled as a group and we helped everyone at every portage. When we got to camp, we set up tents, ate, went to bed and never discussed it again.
A few years later, we had another one of these days. We could not find a campsite. This time though, we laughed and joked and carried on. It was already late in the day when someone realized they were missing their fishing rods. Packs were redistributed and a light canoe was sent back to find them while the rest carried on. The rods were found a few portages back. The canoe caught up before we found camp. One particular uncle cracked open a Costco bag of dried apricots. He offered them to everyone throughout the day. I don’t recall anyone taking him up on his offer, yet that whole bag got eaten. It was the longest day I remember ever on any canoe trip. We paddled for well over 12 hours, setting up our camp on a hilly spot well after dark. We got camp set up, made food, ate, and most of us slept hard. My uncle did not as those apricots gave us a whole other memorable story.
The difference between these two long days was attitude, friendship, and camaraderie, serving one another, laughter, and finding joy in the journey. One experience was negative and one was positive. For all intents and purposes, the two days were the same, but the difference was how we responded to the adversity. In life, as on canoe trips, work is required and adversity will happen. Sometimes that adversity is undeserved and sometimes that’s just life. But often, “the difference between a stepping stone and a stumbling block is how high you lift your foot–Christ will lift and guide us. Often through the deeds of others, and make it possible for us to reach from that stumbling block up to the stepping stone.” (Cortnee Bair)
Another lesson I learned from these experiences goes hand in hand with a life lesson I have to continually work on. “Selfishness is really self-destruction in slow motion” (Neal A. Maxwell) Selfishness is focusing on oneself as opposed to others. It’s that first canoe trip story with the miserable day and not realizing that everyone was struggling. I focused on myself and brought the group lower with my selfishness and negativity,
I read an article years ago about an accomplished older man who always wanted to climb mountains, but was unable to until he retired. The issue with this was no one at his age had climbed all the mountains he wanted to climb. He needed a good team. He interviewed many potential members but didn’t necessarily sign up the best climbers. He signed up the competent climbers who had the best attitude. In his business life, he learned that he had no time and energy for negativity. He found that negativity actually drained energy. For him to be able to climb all these mountains, he would need to apply all the energy he had to climbing each mountain, not focusing on things that were out of his control. It’s the same with selfishness. This isn’t to say we don’t focus on our own well-being or stay in a situation that is not good for us.
This Christmas, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is continuing with its annual #lighttheworld program. It’s a program that helps each of us to give as Jesus gave, to love as He loved, to serve as He served. The first week of the program wants each of us to focus on helping others around the world. Donate to programs that help those around the world. The Church has released large vending machines that allow someone to buy something for someone else. Instead of buying a pop, a bag of chips, or a candy bar, we can buy someone else food, clothing, medical supplies. This year, they even have a way of supplying live chickens and goats to those who would benefit from having those animals. In week two, we are asked to serve those in our community. A favourite in our family is to go deliver cookies to friends, family, and those who we are thinking about. We’ve deliver firewood, pies, meals, shoveled snow and, worked at the food bank. I hope that I can instill a love of service into my kids, just as my parents did for me. The #lighttheworld isn’t just for members of the Church of Jesus Christ. Everyone can benefit from serving another.
As President Thomas S. Monson has said, “[The] Christmases which touched my heart the most are Christmases filled with love and giving and the Spirit of the Saviour. I believe that such would be true for all of us as we reminisce concerning our best-remembered Christmases.” I encourage you to make you Christmas memorable and find others to serve in a meaningful way. Choose love. Choose to be positive. Choose Happiness.
One of my favourite sayings works perfectly with the #lighttheworld program. It works perfectly with love, happiness, service and being a Christian. It’s not a scripture. But it’s important and true for every one of us.
“Thee lift me and I’ll lift thee and we’ll ascend together.” (Quaker Proverb.) We are better together. Let us work together whether it’s on a canoe trip, getting through a snowy winter, daily at work, or when someone legitimately needs help. It’s how we minister to one another. Let us be better.
~Todd Bruce
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